Final Pre-Burn Newsletter!

Well Bureaucrats, the time has finally come and we’re heading down the dusty trail back to our beloved Black Rock Desert. We leave in the morning, and it’s been a hectic couple days. 

Are you stressing out? FREAKING out, even? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!  We actually just got passed the freak out stage and are easing into the incredibly exited phase. I’ll tell ya, friends – It’s nice on this side of things – and you’ll be here soon enough!

Sheriff and Popocatepetl (yeah, that’s one hell of a Playa Name) drove a massive box truck up from LA, with Sledge and I following behind in my overloaded pickup, scraping my muffler up the Grapevine grade.  

We met up with with Show and Yzaura and spent the day loading the trailer and the truck and getting ready to leave in the morning. Back at the Warehouse HQ, I can only assume that Charles, Meg, Sam, and Ronen and their band of helpers, builders, and super dedicated Bureaucrats are working away, getting ready to leave so that we can all meet in the desert and start building camp!

Before I go off the radar, I’ve got a couple reminders and notes and requests for you folks.

ARRIVAL / WELCOME PACKS: Yzaura has put together some sweet welcome packs with a couple nice gifts, some useful items, and some good info. When you arrive at camp, find someone to help you get situated in the parking / camping area (I’ll be on site the first couple days to make sure everyone gets placed / hugged!), and then find Yzaura to get your Welcome Pack! You’re gonna love it!

FIRE: This year, the Turtle has FIRE!  Awesome flame throwing turtles are a rare breed, and they need a lot of propane to function. Want to be a real hero? Bring your extra tank of propane up to fuel the Turtle’s fire! Write your name on it with a sharpie so you get it back when its empty, and you’ll get to push the BIG RED button. Yeah, it’s pretty damn cool.

BAR: I’ve got enough Playa Punch to drown Earnest Hemingway. And quite a selection of booze. But to keep the bar running nearly 24 / 7, we could use a couple extra bottles. If everyone brings a bottle and a mixer (don’t forget the mixer!) to donate to the bar, we’ll be able to keep the old booze hounds happy (yeah, I’m talking about myself).

LOCATION: We’re located at 9 & D this year. Most of you already know that, but I thought it was worth reiterating. And if you’re new in town, that’s really all you need to know to find us on the playa. 9 & D. 

DRIVING – Please drive safe, amigos! Remember, Burning Man starts as soon as you leave your house. Be good to your fellow drivers and the people you meet along the way. 

GREYWATER – I say this every year, so I’ll say it again: Please use water sparingly! And / or plan to take your own grey water home with you. If you use the shower, use as little water possible and make sure the greywater tanks under the shower aren’t full before you start! And you should all have your own greywater jug for brushing your teeth, cleaning dishes, etc. 

EVENTS: Again, here are some of the events we have planned. NOTE: The group photo has been moved to Friday!

Banana Hammock Frozen Banana Extravaganza 2:30 PM
Hot Pink Party! 6:00PM @ Camp Walter. 4 & A

Yoga with Yzaura 10:00AM
Tales of Tabasco’s Bloody Mary and Poached Egg Breakfast 11AM
Banana Hammock Frozen Banana Extravaganzana! 2:30 PM
Delegation of Fire Performance 9:00 PM

Champagne and Egg Rolls with Nipples in the Mist! 11AM

Peach Sparkles
Group Photo and Group Dinner! 6:00 PM

Man Burn – Gather @ The Bureau @ Sunset

Temeple Burn – Gather @ The Bureau @ Sunset

That’s it! I’m heading out to the Playa EARLY in the AM to get this thing started! We’ll be ready and waiting for you with hugs and welcome packs! (Don’t forget to find the Yzaura and get your welcome pack!)


Captain Buzzkill Jones
Department of Organized Chaos
The Bureau of Misinformation

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