We’re playing with the big boys this year. The Bureau was placed at the 9:00 Portal & Esplanade. What does this mean?

Esplanade, Baby!

We’re playing with the big boys this year.

The Bureau was placed at the 9:00 Portal & Esplanade.

What does this mean? We are on the first street at the front of the city and facing the Man. This puts us smack dab in the middle of the action. We are expected to have 24-hour interactivity, a completely conceived visual scheme, and activities/events for all ages. Our space will be 200×200 ft in a shape that is to be determined, giving us just under 40,000 sq ft to work with. This is a great opportunity for us to show our community what we are about and requires us to work together to pull this off successfully. In planning your projects and contributions, I encourage everyone to think big while knowing that simple, well-executed designs will be what are most effective.

We will be somewhere between the arrows.

Before we get too into the nitty gritty, I ask that you please take 8 minutes to watch this video. Halcyon from Pink Heart give a perfect answer to the question “What do you get from a Theme Camp?”. If this is your first burn, or your first year with The Bureau, this is required viewing. Even if this is your 10th burn, this is a great reminder of what its really all about.

What is The Bureau’s gift to Black Rock City?

Our collective gift to the Burning Man community centers around our departments, organized and created by all of you! While this is a Bureaucracy, it is also a Do-acracy. Meaning, if there is something you want to see at our camp, take charge and do it!

As our guests walk up to our frontage, they will first see a colorful, shaded courtyard strung with lights, two domes, and a stretch of single-level, flat top structures with bright blue curtains and a mirrored façade.

Two large, lit signs will announce where they have arrived: The Bureau of Misinformation. This should serve as a warning that they have entered a space where truth is not black or white, but a flowing prismatic liquid that can be distorted to take any form.

The Misinformation Booth will be prominent on our frontage, sharing dubious factoids and weird wit. Many will come to us with legitimate questions. We will lead them gleefully astray – it’s all part of the adventure, baby! Of course, questions such as “Where is the nearest Ranger station?” are always taken seriously.

Playa directory “You Are Here” signs will provide unexpected detours with a map of the Playa and 50 or so camp locations with varying levels of mischievous inaccuracies and additions.

When not traversing Black Rock City and winning races in a slow, steady manner, The Divine Testudine will be on display and available as a comfortable hang out spot for anyone who woke up and decided they wanted to chill in a giant turtle.

Wrapping up our frontage offerings are our Heckling Bleachers. With attached megaphones, they are the perfect place to broadcast your thoughts on whatever you happen to see on the ever-changing, panoramic Playavision set. They also serve as a great place to laugh at Bureaucrats getting others into the spirit of Burning Man. Antics may include: fishing for ravers; asking for moments of time to support ridiculous causes; protests against any number of everyday occurrences; and/or a sobriety checkpoint where, if our lead sobrietologists determine someone is in fact sober, they will be encouraged to get with the program. If you choose to enjoy the bleachers, sit in the Splash Zone at your own risk.

Walking further into camp, for all of our guests of drinking age, we have our Answer Bar which will serve two signature cocktails (one in the day and one at night), beer, wine, and a heavy dose of snark.

Surrounding the bar will be our “placed” departments, listed in more detail later in this newsletter, which will provide a decorated photobooth, body painting, chill space, and games.

Box of Lies will be our main game this year, with others including Giant Jenga with lots of naughty and silly tiles, Battle Shots, Charades, and more.

A mix of indie, folk, classic rock, and other music not typically heard at the large sound camps will be played throughout the camp. We enjoy not being a sound camp and offer an alternative experience. Playlists are generated by Bureaucrats and can be submitted to the Coalition of Sound for inclusion on our iPod.

When your friends come to visit the sweet camp you helped build, they can park their bike in one of our public bike racks.

We have a lot going on and it’s going to be great. Is there something you wish we were doing that’s not on this list? Come up with a plan and get started.

Need a refresher on what each of these principles means?

What do Bureaucrats gift to each other?

With our project, we strive to reach a balance between living by the Ten Principles and having all the glamping amenities that make a plot of dust our home.

Kitchen

The Kitchen Cabinet organizes a communal kitchen and dining area for all of our campers. Pot-luck style, first-come-first-served meals are gifted by Bureaucrats within this department on a loose schedule. One day may be brunch, the next may be dinner, the following may be both. You are expected to bring enough food for yourself to survive, but also know that Bureaucrats will be gifting food out of the kitchen. Everyone is welcome to get involved here, whether it be by organizing a group of friends to plan a meal, signing up for a cleaning shift, or bringing an institution-sized can of vanilla pudding to share.

The exact kitchen equipment we will have is not yet set in stone, but there will be an array of equipment, surfaces, and tools. At the minimum, you can expect gas burners, a griddle, a microwave, pots/pans, and utensils. If you need more details or have specific questions on the kitchen set up, contact someone within the Kitchen Cabinet.

There will be one giant family lunch/dinner where it would be great to see the entire camp come together for a meal. Details to come at a later date.

Showers

Most of us are dirty kids, but it’s hard to get laid when you smell. To help you with this, we have two raised shower stalls with electric water pumps, real shower heads, and a drainage system to collect shower greywater. They are nice for Burning Man standards. You will need to provide your own water for your showers. Plan one to two gallons per shower. The set-up uses less water than a normal shower without sacrificing enjoyment.

Power

Generators will provide power for reasonable needs. When possible, please use batteries and solar. If you are planning on bringing something that needs constant power or is an energy-hog, you must let us know ahead of time.

Tent Camping

We build a shaded area for our tent campers. We attempt to accurately gauge the size of this area and provide shade for everyone in a tent, but this is first-come, first-served. In years past, tarps and shade sails have been attached to the structure by campers who arrived late to expand the space.

Connections and Opportunities

The Bureau is made up of some of the most interesting, inspiring, and beautiful people you will ever meet. We have members from every continent besides Antarctica (we’re working on it!), from all walks of life, and are inclusive to anyone with a positive attitude. You will leave with new connections, lasting friendships, and stories to tell for the rest of your life.

There are an overwhelming amount of ways that you can be involved and make a big impact. Not every camp can offer that. If you want to build, there are projects for you. If you want to be silly, we have the environment for you. If you want to perform, we have events for you. If you want to be helpful, there are volunteer shifts for you. Being a part of The Bureau will allow you to explore what it means to be part of a community and find a purpose within it. The more you put in, the more you get out.

Our Roster

After our latest push we are on target to reach the number of members necessary to pull off all that we have planned. We do still have room for new Bureaucrats to join our family. If you know burners looking for a camp that fit in with what we’re trying to do, add them to our Facebook group and have them fill out the application at http://bit.do/bureau2015.

If you have not filled out an application, you are not on the roster and The Bureau is operating under the assumption that you are not joining us this year. There are no Bureaucrats exempt from bureaucracy.

Who are we are looking for in new membership?

While all talents and contributions are valued tremendously, at this point in the game there are a few things we need more than others. We have specific needs for people with any of the following traits, skillsets, and resources who understand that working hard is part of playing hard.

Have the ability to build and/or transport large projects to the playa
Have construction/electrical/rigging skills
Can gift the use of generators or audio/visual equipment
Have experience towing a 30’ trailer or similarly large vehicles
Are naturals at playing tricks, misinforming, and/or performing

If you are looking to join our camp and these aren’t you, don’t be discouraged! Let us know why you want to be part of this ridiculous project – it takes all types.

Departments

Here is our current line-up of Departments and Department Heads. In an effort to keep this newsletter from turning into a novel, I kept the descriptions to two words. The list of Departments will be updated on our website as they are formed.

The Kitchen Cabinet

Communal Kitchen

Facebook Group

Dept. Head: Clayton Craw

Love to cook? Help plan a meal or pick up a shift!

Academy of Strategy

Interactive Games

Dept. Head: Dori Jay

Have a game that’s great for the playa? Let’s make it happen!

Coalition of

Sound

Music Playlists

Dept. Head: MorningStar

(Lizett Retana)

Do you love music?

Help create a playlist for our camp!

Moop Squad

Trash & Recycling

Dept. Head: Cor Bo

Can you help build and transport a three-compartment bin?

We need you!

Ministry of Memories

Photo Booth

Dept. Head: Kelvin Koh

Fabric Regiment

Fabric Arts

Dept. Head: Halley Davis

Sheriff’s Dept.

Build Crew

Dept. Head: Sheriff

(Zachary Skoubis)

Delegation of

Fire

Fire Performance

Facebook Group

Dept. Head: Jessica Wise

Are you a fire spinner? Get in on the show!

Band of

Brushes

Body Painting

Dept. Head: Jasper

(Paul Taylor)

Are you a body painter, makeup artist, or a willing assistant?

Bureau Retiree’s Association

Chill Zone

Dept. Head: Funkiller

(Jonathan Horak)

Scottish Takeover

Whisky & Tartan

Dept. Head: Simon Reece

Church of the Divine Testudine

Mutant Vehicle

Facebook Page

Dept. Head: Sam Waldbaum

Little Helpers

Helping Hands

Dept. Head: Smiley

(Mark Chang Capwell)

???

Want to form a department?

Submit a Dept. Formation Form

and message Sheriff on Facebook.

Projects

I want to let you in on a little secret. We all feel like we don’t know what the hell we’re doing a lot of times. We all see something big and awesome in front of us and don’t know how we can best contribute. Before I started preparing for my first burn five years ago, I knew nothing about any of what I’m doing right now. Burning Man is an opportunity to try. It is a platform to learn new skillsets that you will have forever. You get to cast aside your self-doubt and just do something already. That’s why it is so addicting. That’s why we feel such a sense of belonging and accomplishment while we’re there. Take advantage of the opportunity you have. If a project sounds interesting to you but you’re worried you don’t have the skills there are so many resources available! You can ask anyone else in the camp for help on the Facebook page — we don’t judge. We want you to learn. You can ask your friends or family for help. Does your dad think Burning Man is just a big drug-fueled orgy — show him what it is really about by working on a project with him. And the internet! It’s so big. Everything is on it now. Instructables, YouTube videos, forums…you have everything you need.

What follows is a list of all of the projects that still need a champion. Aside from a few technical jobs, almost all of them are available to anyone — from virgin burners to Larry Harvey(s). Some require being in California or being able to get something you built to the playa, while some could be done from the internet cafe at the North Pole. If you prefer to work with friends, many of these could be turned into a small department, and similar jobs can be combined into one big department. You don’t even need to be in the same country as long as you communicate with each other. If you show up without a job or something you have contributed to be proud about, you’re doing it wrong.

There is budget available for many of these projects.

Must be in California (would be easiest for someone in SF)

Shower Repair and Prep — Last year we had issues with water pooling instead of going down the drain. Switching the linoleum floor out with slat-wood for multiple drainage points will fix this. You will need power tools and it would be easiest if you have access to a truck. Additionally, we want to check the rest of the components and make any small repairs or replacements as necessary. Advice is available for this project.

Bureau Signs — Refreshing and light replacement. The LED strip tape and power supply needs to be replaced in our large metal sign and the marquee sign needs one letter to be restrung with globe lights.

Misinformation Booth — Refresh our Misinformation Booth and make sure she is sparkling for her Esplanade placement. Could be combined into a department with the two other Misinformation Booth jobs.

Technical Knowledge Required

Power/Generators — Plan system and layout. I can provide you the info on our power needs. We have some generators but I’m not sure that they are enough anymore and we should avoid running hundreds of feet of cables from them. This person could also coordinate with one of our neighboring camps on renting a generator to share.

Sound System — We are down to two speakers after two speakers and our mixer bit the dust last year. This job entails planning our speaker layout, sourcing a new mixer, and sourcing additional speakers. We are not a sound camp. Our system should stay within our needs.

Brewmaster — If anyone happens to have enough experience managing kegs to create a plan that addresses the changes in altitude and temperature during transport; on-playa cooling and CO2 needs; and how to effectively manage the system during the week, we can have a keg beer system instead of cans. This would be awesome, but we are totally fine without it.

Construction Required

Furniture — Build (or source) additional playatech or other furniture. Can be multiple people from different areas.

Facade — We can’t be on Esplanade with a front that is just steel poles. I have a relatively easy idea and plans that can be constructed, or you can reimagine to fit your vision and skillsets. This can be something that either attaches to the front of the poles, or is free standing in front of the entrances.

Fence – Design a fence or similar barrier to adequately separate public/private spaces.

Light Construction Required

These projects could potentially fit into bins that are being shipped, could have the larger parts picked up by CA members and brought to playa for you, or you could get the components at a store when you get to the West Coast.

Lighting — Work with décor to make sure we shine bright.

Signage — Work with décor to create small signs for public areas and possibly one additional big one for our frontage.

Jokes, Tricks, Pranks — Plan and source materials for things such as fishing for ravers, protest signs, sobriety checkpoint, etc. Basically, making sure we have the materials for people to have fun in front of the bleachers. This would make a great department.

Burn Barrels — Plan and maintain burn barrels, preferably with cut out designs but not necessary. Includes planning firewood needs and ash removal.

Primping Palace — Design and coordinate the creation of an area for campers to get cute in camping area. A simple area with mirrors, basic beauty tool needs, etc. This should be fun.

Bike Parking — Create plan for dealing with large numbers of bikes in public areas. We probably already have enough bike racks, but if not build or source additional.

Do it Anywhere

Safety — Build a team. Develop and coordinate safety plan for basic first aid, fire safety and fuel storage. Maintain fire lane. Sign up volunteers for safety shifts.

Décor — Head department to elevate our camp’s appearance to meet Esplanade standards. Lots of different opportunities here and many projects already underway that would benefit from having a dedicated coordinator.

Bar — Most of the plans and decisions have already been made here, but the project could use a dedicated manager. Includes implementing an effective ID system, creating simple guide for volunteer bartenders with a set-up and cleaning checklist, and coordinating with décor to make sure the bar looks great.

Events — Multiple jobs here! 24/7 interactivity means having a plan for what’s going on round the clock. Need one person to coordinate camp schedule to minimize downtime. Need others to plan events big and small. (Just a reminder that we are not a sound camp and events should be based on things other than having a DJ. Events with a music theme — such as an 80s prom — are great.)

Misinformation Booth — This is probably two jobs. Collect updated Misinformation relating to current events/this year’s burn to add to the book (from your own mind and from the entire Bureau family), print/bind updated copies of our Misinformation Bible, work with Sheriff to develop a sheet of tips/tricks and guidelines (don’t be a bully, etc.), and recruit volunteers for shifts.

Camping Area Layout — Use footprint information from individual applications to loosely plan camping area.

Bureau Headquarters – Remote Office Assistant — This should be a veteran burner and someone who likes to write emails. Assist Sheriff by responding to questions from Bureaucrats involving Burning Man 101 and initial contact emails asking for general information. Assist Sheriff with coordinating member welcome kit and sourcing materials. Occasionally assist with checking in on the status of projects and plans.

We have a lot to do, but thankfully we have just the right amount of time to pull everything off marvelously.So how are you going to help make The Bureau the best it has ever been? Message me and let me know what project I can put your name next to. I’m happy to chat about anything on this list.

Style Guide

Here are a few tips on making your project fit in with the Bureau aesthetic this year. You don’t need to follow this but the more that does the more cohesive we look.

Color

The Hex and RGB codes are available at bit.do/bureaucolorcodes.

If you are obsessive, you can see more color info at bit.do/bureaucolors.

Of course, rainbow and black/white/grey/silver always work too.

Font

If printed, consider this font: http://bit.do/bureaufont.

Otherwise, anything official, government, or spy agency looking works too.

Tips

For what we are doing, simple and well-executed is better than technically complicated. Nothing needs to be too polished. Don’t agonize over details that will be covered in dust.

The more visual tricks we can play, the better. We already have a lot going on that relies on human actors. Some examples for visual tricks would be misleading signs or making things appear different than they are. Remember that the goal is to be witty and have fun — not be mean. As tempting as it is to replace oreo frosting with soap and leave the package out, it’s probably not a good idea.

Lastly, Misinformation is best when it is absurd but at least initially believable The ultimate achievement is hearing your misinformation come back to you as fact.

Dues

The Bureau cannot give our gift to the playa without pooling our money. We ain’t no camp of fancy Silicon Valley rich folk. We are a ragtag bunch of travelers busting ass to give the gift of an amazing experience.

We are currently at the $250 level for dues. Dues will soon raise one more time to $300. Having money in The Bureau account now means we can DIY and shop around for deals, whereas if we cannot afford something until two weeks ’til departure, we have to buy at retail. It is to your benefit and The Bureau’s benefit to contribute early.

If you are unable to contribute monetarily, please reach out and let me know your situation. There are always ways to work things out.

USA: Pay with Square Cash at cash.me/$bureau

International: PayPal as Friends and Family to bureauofmisinformation@gmail.com

Transitioning from D to Esplanade

While our placement this year is an amazing gift to us from BMorg, and a testament to all that we do, there are some downsides and concerns that we all need to know and be careful of. Overall, the playa is a safe, fun, easy going environment. For any virgins reading this, please do not think that the concerns to follow are common occurrences — they are potential issues that, if we work together, we should be able to avoid.

Nearly every resident of this year’s Black Rock City will visit, walk through, or walk past our camp. While almost all of them will be amazing people, many will be under the influence and some will be flat-out up to no good. The things we want to avoid are theft, using our camp as a bathroom, and issues with law enforcement.

I bring these concerns to the table now so everyone has time to reflect on them. If there are concerns with these policies, we have time to discuss.

Public/Camp Private/Private Private

We will use three distinctions in dividing our spaces. Public means anywhere that is visible from the street or is open for anyone. Camp Private means areas open to Bureaucrats and their accompanied guests. The communal spaces such as the kitchen, any “backstage” lounges, parking area, and camping area are Camp Private. Private Private is personal space for which permission must be given to enter. The inside of tents, vehicles, and any personal hang out zones that cannot be seen from a public area are Private Private.

Ideally we will have a wall separating our public space from our private spaces with a non-obvious entrance or pathway. This may turn out to be a line of trailers and RVs instead. Either way, no one crosses the barrier unless escorted by a Bureaucrat. No one is sent to look for someone. They can enjoy our public space while a Bureaucrat goes to find their friend, who can then escort them or ask for them to be walked back.

I have many friends from other camps who come to visit me and I completely understand that this will be an inconvenience at times. However, I think we can all agree that we would rather have this system in place than have a generator get jacked, find human shit in our shower, or be ready for bed only to find a zombie in your tent. If we were not in an extremely high-traffic area we could be more trusting.

Illicit Substances

We will be very visible. This means there will be way more law enforcement officers watching what goes on in our public areas (in uniform, undercover, and even watching through binoculars!). I know that none of us would ever consider touching drugs, but if any of you have friends that smoke, snort, or boof any sort of illicit substance they must know to never, ever, do this in our public camp areas. Not even once really quick because no one will see at four in the morning. One Sheriff or another will see and will lay down the law. This is a serious warning. If you see anyone openly ingesting anything of this nature within the public areas of The Bureau, ask them to take it elsewhere. If you do not feel comfortable doing so, find someone who does right away. We are not spoil-sports; we don’t want to watch as the whole camp gets raided. Thank you all for understanding.

Underage Drinking

We will be carding and stamping hands at the bar. There will absolutely be minors attempting to be served. This should be obvious, but we do not serve minors and make no exceptions. No ID, no drink. Please don’t put us at risk.

Noise

It will be loud a minimum of 20 hours per day, if not non-stop for the entire week. If this concerns you, I highly recommend investing in serious ear plugs.

Those few things are really the only negatives I can think of, and the only things that any theme camp organizers with experience in our location have shared with me. While we could look at making these changes as a negative for having to throw rules into the mix, we are not going to. We got placed on the motherfucking Esplanade! We’ll take it. Yes. Please. Thank you, BMorg. It is going to be a FUN, FUN, FUN year for all of us!

Expectations

To bring this newsletter to a close, I want to comment on expectation levels. We all need to be doing our best to ramp it up a notch this year and give the best gift to the community that we can. This is a test for all of us. Let’s live up to this spot and have the time of our lives doing it.

We’re a bunch of crazy people from all over the world collaborating on a project with a hundred moving parts. Let’s not forget that at the end of the day we’re collectively traveling upwards of 100,000 miles to one of the most inhospitable places on the planet to throw a party and light things on fire.

Push yourself to do the best you can. If we all do that, even when there are inevitably things we end up wishing we did better, we can all know that we gave it everything we had and celebrate together.

And….

I think that about covers it!

I can’t think of anything else, so that’s all we’ve got this time. Thank you for making it to the end. I know this was long.

A special thank you shout-out to Emily, Clayton, Jonathan, and Jessica for helping me tackle the re-organization of our project over the last week. I could not have done it without you.

Bureau Facebook

Website

Sheriff Facebook

I am filled with gratitude to be leading us all on this adventure. We are at the right place at the right time and all of the stars are aligning for magic to happen.

In Fact and Fiction,

Sheriff

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The Bureau of Misinformation

55 Days Until We Torch the Guy!